Something has changed within me...

I think I'll try Defying Gravity too.

If my life were a musical, it would probably look a lot like the wonderful "Wicked," and I would be the perspicacious Elphaba Thropp. I know what that sounds like at face value--who wouldn't want to be Elphaba? She's got beauty, brains, a dashing prince AND she's the hero. But Elphaba was also green-- perhaps the only green person in all of Oz. She was a minority and felt that in her every waking moment. She tried to live past her emerald tone in going to school, but in a way she never escaped it. In an odd way she became what everyone expected a green skinned female magician would become; an "evil" witch. At least that is how she was perceived, and how she let herself be perceived. In that regard, Elphaba illustrates my greatest fear. I am so afraid of appearing the hideous stereotype that I battle everyday toward an arbitrary approximation of "the attractive" and "beautiful." I've lived that way my entire life, and my final plunge into the natural hair world was a timid roar of defiance that, even tiny as it was, I was not ready for. But after two years of lukewarm devotion I finally issued myself the ultimatum I had intended all the while with my natural hair journey. This past summer and fall have been a period of overhaul for me, and I think that little roar has finally decided to become a full on bellow, stereotypes be damned.

In honor of the overhaul of this blog (another manifestation of the deeper change within), I have decided to update my Beauty and the Beast section, which has been neglected as of late. What is beauty? For all my philosophical musings and decidedly pointless love of fashionable presentation, I honestly couldn't tell you. Beauty is obviously not just a metaphysical construct--no it would be naive of me to claim that beauty is completely ungrounded in the physical. But is beauty really connected to the value of a person? Or is that some arbitrary distinction that humans make? I suppose that's what my journey, my struggles with myself and with others, has been about. And there is nowhere that struggle has been more apparent than in the battle with my hair. How should it look? Why isn't it that way? Does that mean it's not beautiful? I answer, "Of course not!" with practiced distance, but in the thick and sticky guts of this encounter, I cannot be sure. My hair doesn't "behave," I don't "get it." I think this mentality has a lot to do with the culture that surrounds western standards of beauty and the way in which black women relate to that standard (a discussion for another late night)

Hair Regimen:

1st Week
Friday/Saturday:

1. Wash hair with Wen cleansing conditioner
2. Condition with GBP by Aubrey Organics
3. Deep Condition (Protien): Aphogee 2 step treatment; Henna; Giovanni Nutrafix hair reconstructor
4. Light Conditioning leave-in: Shea butter, Castor Oil, Vitamin E oil, Argan Oil
5. Seal with oil of choice

Wednesday:

1. Saturate hair with spray mix: Rose Water, Infusium 23, Aloe Vera Juice
2. Light Conditioning leave-in
3. Leave-in Conditioner mix: 2 Tablespoons of Aloe Vera Juice, 2 Tablespoons of Giovanni Direct-Leave in, 2 teaspoons of Castor oil, 2 teaspoons of Jojoba oil

Friday/ Saturday:

1. Detangle with spray mix and cheapie conditioner
2. Braid hair up and wash
3. Condition with GBP
4. Deep Condition with heat cap: Heavier version of Shea butter conditioning leave-in
5. Retwist/ Rebraid until next wash/detangling session

Protective styles throughout the week.

I suppose by putting all of this here I am rededicating myself. Over the course of the past few years I've learned that taking care of myself is important. And through the course of this natural journey, I've had to struggle with Beauty--I still do; she is crueler than she is kind. But I suppose with this re-dedication  I'm giving myself license to do battle with Her, or with the world's image of Her,  unencumbered . I'm giving myself a chance to find Her in me.
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I think that something world is missing is a candid picture of what being a black woman  in the world means, with all its bitterness and its triumphs. So I think I will dedicate this Beauty and the Beast Section (and perhaps a consequent section on social issues) to filling that much needed niche. More to come...

Life Lessons...

"How do you know when God's done with you?" I asked one day.
"You'll die." My brother replied. "He'll kill you and it won't be a near death thing."

"Why be foolish when you can be wise?" The famous words of a grandfather I never had the honor to meet.

"I SAID now not!!" a six year old Thor, expressing a mentality I hold till this day.

I do have a bunch of posts on the way so stay tuned!

A Phoenix from the Cinders

Rodgers and Hammerstein are responsible for such masterpieces as the Sound of Music and The King and I.  I grew up on these classics and the music...ah the music is the stuff of my sweetest dreams and wildest fancies. I am a classically trained musician, specifically a vocalist and was trained from "toddlerhood." My memories are primarily musical and the cause of this may be anything from my synaesthesia to that training. This training gives me a proverbial microscope through which I can view the magic of good music--but the experience of it is always a physical--almost visceral--experience for all involved, trained or not. Such was my response to stumbling upon (the internet was totally uninvolved) Rodgers and Hammerstein's Cinderella.

Who doesn't love a little Julie Andrews?

The made for TV 1997 version.

Whitney!!!!!

 I know. Stay with me. You know me to be pretty critical of...well everything. I'm not exactly Rush Limbaugh on Democrats critical...but I'm not a lightweight either. To this you will concede I'm sure, but a made for TV musical, you might ask? Really? Those of you who have seen the film...err... musical, might be even more confused. I own to it: the Rodger and Hammerstein's Cinderella 1997 musical for TV is not exactly The Dark Knight. As a film, it is far from a beatific masterpiece. But as an idea...ah. As an idea propelled by music magic this film musical--whatever it is rises from the cinders, incandescent.

JK? Not even a little bit.

The first thing one will notice with Cinderella is the multi-cultural cast. Cinderella is black, played by Brandy to be exact, her stepmother is white, the lovely Bernadette Peters and she has two step sisters: one white, one black. Sometimes it borders ridiculousness; we have a hunky Asian prince (Paolo Montalban), but his mother and father? Whoopi Goldberg and Victor Garber respectively. In this modern age there are plenty of explanative options: adoption, infidelity--but seeing as the target audience is probably prepubescent...and the family in question is royal, those options are probably a little tricky to explain. Regardless, it is the multi-cultural aspect that I love. Even the chorus is diverse; the townspeople, the court--Cinderella is more than a token nod at the hope of racial integration and equality. And I personally hope that our films and musicals will learn to follow it's example. Today, when African-Americans are relegated to comedic relief or axe fodder, Hispanics to Mexican gardeners, Asians to sexual objects or charming kung-fu nerds and Native Americans to werewolves if they appear at all, I have a hard time seeing movies as the stuff of dreams or an adequate escapist medium; perhaps for those who are not relegated to narrow and often offensive stereotypes, but not for me. Shouldn't our media represent the future we want, rather than a troubling present we are trying to move past?

Also in it's favor is the scintillating musical score, but I suppose that goes without saying. Visit Youtube to get a taste of Cinderella's wonderful music.
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This will be re-posted in my "Let's Go to the Movies" section.

Ahh so that travel log...

Remember when I was in Egypt? Remember when I was writing that travel log? Remember when I said I would post the entries I had written, even though my adventure was over? I kind of stopped doing that didn't I? Huh. Weird. Well, I suppose I will start again, if anything to keep me from my propensity to speak at great length about politics and race and gender issues. Those problems tend to aggravate my general sense of despair at the general status of the human condition. So I'll post those as well, until the ones I wrote run out. I am also crossing my fingers for an interesting job--I am taking a year off before law school--perhaps in the D.C area, perhaps abroad if my wanderlust gets the best of me. So expect news soon!! In other news, I think I'll pick up German next. Once I remember my Arabic, ace my LSAT and pummel my Japanese into permanent memory.
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A note about my last post; for those of you who had the chance to read it, I hope you enjoyed my perspective. I have removed the post because it seems inappropriate to discuss such sensitive issues on a blog I intended for the documentation of my different adventures, mundane and otherwise. So please do not be alarmed if you check my blog to find that rather lengthy treatise on race and gender gone. Thanks!

Something funny I heard the other day

I was innocently sitting in my kitchen watching  the Sci-fy channel when I was assailed with, "JERSEY SHORE SHARK ATTACK." You can imagine that I was somewhat dismayed at this dark turn of events, but fortunately my youngest brother was waiting in the wings to cheer me up.
"You know clinical studies suggest that watching Jersey Shore makes you stupider. Actually."

 Right you are brother. Right you are.

Snow White and the Huntsman

It began with posters in my local cinema. Kristen Stewart standing in a dark approximation of the Disney princess's iconic gown or creeping through a Grimm-esque forest; the beautiful Chris Hemsworth performing that rugged smolder he seems to have been born with--compelling images all, and sprinkled innocuously enough to whet my appetite without my fully being aware of it. Insidious and worthy of my reluctant respect. I admit that my gut reaction to any cast member of the unfortunate Twilight franchise is a mix a pity and amusement; nevertheless, I thought casting the homely Stewart as "fairest of them all" an interesting choice and was curious to see how she would fare in what I believed would be a gritty retelling of Snow White and her Seven Dwarfs. Charleze Theron as the Queen and Chris Hemsworth as the Huntsman, while not obvious choices, fell well within the realm of the expected. I was unsurprised, but still excited to see how everything would come together. How honest to the Grimm's tale would this film be? As television ads grew more frequent, my anticipation grew. In retrospect, I must tip my hat off to whomever managed the advertising for the film. I, with all my skepticism and practiced pessimism, did not realize I was being reeled in. Snow White and the Huntsman would usually have been the textbook image of the sort of teenie bopper, "edgy" fairy tale retelling I avoid on principal. But it was handled with just the right amount of gravitas, important while still realizing what it was, and I found I could not help myself.

Dear Kirsten Stewart, please pick an eye color
Credit: Hollywood Reporter

The film began with a voice over by Hemsworth, following in the footsteps of the "Once upon a time" tradition. I note with some amusement that the writers of Snow White and the Huntsman were obviously aware of the original Grimm's tale--their introduction proves it; they merely chose to ignore it. Once the film was over, I was left with the vague inclination that something had just happened, perhaps a film. This is not to say that Snow White and the Huntsman was a horrible film. On the contrary it was fine. But I find that even now as I reach back for details there is not much to sift through. Honestly, I thought I would have more to say about this film than I do, but it was a very "blah" film. Visually, it was stunning. The landscapes, from dark forest to light (called the Sanctuary in the film), and the creatures that inhabited them, faeries and trolls, were beautifully rendered. The cinematography was properly epic in scope and the notable landmarks properly dark and dirty. Charleze Theron was fiercely beautiful, as expected and Kristen Stewart was a pleasant surprise as the beautiful princess. She was, in fact, beautiful. Everything was beautiful. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. But my impressions from here grow less distinct.

I recall enough to be able to say I found Hemsworth a treat. Theron occasionally skirted the overacting line, but on the whole was wonderful to watch and listen to. Stewart surprised me with a monolouge before the final battle, that may or may not have been accidentally brilliant. I think she sounded quite daft as she delivered it and if that was an intentional choice... then it would seem I have gravely underestimated her. Of course her being virtually monosyllabic throughout the entirety of the film until that point did lend to the shock factor.

The "prince" was a non character and dwarfs even more so. But I did enjoy all of the folk tale references the film made. From the prince being named William and being an archer (see William Tell) to the Fae stag. Yes, this movie gave nominal winks to an awful lot of folklore; that might be why it seems to be such an amorphous blob in my memory. There was simply too much it was trying to do and consequently the story itself was compromised. The dialogue did little to help the situation. While not falling to the level of James Cameron's Avatar and "unobtainium,"

Snow White and the Huntsman's dialogue was not exactly delightfully witty or particularly well written. Snow White's final and only speech, while full of feelings, did not make any particular sort of sense and William's ruse to sneak into an enemy band of mercenaries was punctuated by the unfortunate waste of a perfectly set up comedic/bad-ass moment, to name a few offenses.

Snow White and the Huntsman is what I now call a "Mini- Epic." Not Lord of the Rings, but still a tale that follows the coming of age or growth of a "chosen" savior figure. The most interesting aspect of this film was not the savior- hero dynamic--that remained as tried and true as ever--rather it was the fact that these typically male roles were filled by women right down to the hero led siege/ battle and the "We are not so different, you and I" tactic often employed by the villain. The movie was surprisingly un-gender biased and that was refreshing. But as a film that forced my friend to ask, "Continuity, what is it?" and brought me to helplessly reply, "Not a thing that happens in movies," Snow White and the Huntsman still falls short of perfection.

Long story short, she gets a solid B from me.
 
This review will appear as a comment in my "Let's go to the movies" section.

You are Umasou

Where to begin with this post, where indeed. I have just had the pleasure of watching a masterpiece of a children's film. The title is "You are Umasou", translating to "You are Delicious-looking." It was almost as astonishing as my experience with Brandon Sanderson's "The Way of Kings," which I will review soon. The main character is a Tyrannosaurus Rex raised by an ambiguous plant eater. Heart, our T-Rex hero is found as an egg floating down stream. His adoptive mother finds him and takes the egg in, protecting it from the elements and from a scavenger dinosaur attack. Once he and his mother's remaining egg hatch, it is discovered that he has jagged teeth, meant for the eating of flesh. The village elder attempts to trample the baby Heart, his mother intervenes and then is promptly ordered to abandon him. She almost manages to do so, but finds the silence after his wailing cries to be too much. She goes to him and it is revealed later that she chooses exile from the herd rather than leave him. Heart grows up with his brother Light knowing nothing at all about what he is. He cannot eat plants or acorns like his older brother, only red berries and as a result he is malnourished and tiny. My synopsis stops here. Because mentioning anything from this point on will ruin the movie. All I can say is that Heart becomes a T-Rex of the Kung Fu wielding variety and somehow it is not ridiculous. I cannot do this tale justice. Alas. What to do with my inadequacies?

Umasou by upnahdon (Deviant Art)

 This film is an interesting blend of nature settings almost photographic in their detail and cartoonish dinosaurs. The effect is jarring and more than a little comic. Oh and that cute beyond words thing that I posted above (you see what I did there? You see what I did?!) That is the title character Umasou, Heart's adoptive son. Without ruining too much of the film, I can say that the struggle Heart endures over his meat-eating nature, the way he was raised and his resulting self-loathing and fear of his own instincts are the most authentic and heart-wrenching I have ever seen in an animated film. Of course, not many films deal with self loathing over one's need to eat flesh to survive...but you understand my meaning. All in all, for it's deep look into the meaning of family, I give Umasou an empire sized stamp of approval. Find a copy of it in the depths of the internet near you. This post will be added as a comment to my "Let's go to the Movies," section